• Home
  • Posts RSS
  • Comments RSS
  • Edit
  • 7 Stages of College Frat Parties

    It helps to know how other people see you, especially when it comes to how people see you when you are drunk. To help, we have compiled a thorough list of exactly what you are like when you think that you are the life of the frat party.

    Stage 1:  Getting Started
    When you first get to a frat party, you will want to start the night right with a few beers. While you work on your buzz, you feel out the other people at the party and realize that you will not be going to your 9 AM class the next day.

    Stage 2:  Hitting Your Peak
    After a while, you will have had a your fair share of beer and be having a good time. Unfortunately, you don’t realize that this is as good as it’s going to get tonight and soon enter stage 3…

    Stage 3:  Overshooting Your Peak
    Determined to make your buzz last as long as possible, you start inviting people to do shots with you. Doing shots never goes well. Soon the beer in your stomach will notice that it has to share a space with tequila or rum and it will not be pleased.

    Stage 4:  What’s the Deal With This Whole Wearing Pants Thing?”
    In between very frequent trips to the bathroom, you will begin rambling about something ridiculous that you realized while staring at the painting that is hanging on the wall. Suddenly you will become a social pioneer as you rebel against the status quo using unintelligible sentences.

    Stage 5:  “I…I love You Man”
    Being a revolutionary is hard and you will soon settle down and sink into a spot on the couch. At this point you will no longer be mad at the world but very happy that the friends that you can’t stand while sober are here with you. After a 15 minute rant about how great the people at the party are, you will realize that you have more important things to worry about; stage six.

    Stage 6:  Puking
    You pray that you make it to the bathroom as you shove everyone in your way. You will finally remember why you hadn’t drank for two weeks after the last party you attended. Too late now. You’re going to need a lot of breath mints.

    Stage 7:  The Day After
    The next day you will wake up with three simple thoughts: 1) How the hell did I manage to get home last night? 2) Ouch, my head. 3) Where the hell are my pants?